Does either subject in the above photo remind you of yourself one February 14th? Well, whether you’ve been there or not, we’ve combed and compiled all those ‘Worst Valentine’s Gifts’ and ‘Valentines Horror Stories’ lists littering the web to show you what it means to truly suck at gift giving:
1. Only 6 Inches?
One year, my then-boyfriend and his brother made a last-minute trip into town on Valentine’s Day. His brother stopped to buy a card and flowers for his girlfriend and my ex-boyfriend didn’t bother doing the same. What did he get for me instead? A six-inch sub from Subway.”
—Lydia
2. The Mother Ship
“I have a friend who was thrilled when her husband booked a cruise for the two of them as a Valentine’s Day gift. Then she found out he’d booked his mom on the same cruise!”
—Cristina
3. Candy Man
“One time a boyfriend picked me up at work with candy. It was totally obvious that he knew this was what guys are supposed to do, but he didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. The candy was a huge bag of Starbursts that he’d bought at the drugstore under my office.”
—Anonymous
4. Pan-ic
Pots and pans. I still lived with my parents at that point, so there was no actual need for them. He just thought it’d be funny to tell our friends what he got me, since they always joked about how ‘a woman’s place is in the kitchen.’ At first I thought the gift was funny, and then I realized the pots and pans were all he bought me.”
—Jennifer
5. Merry Valentine’s Day
“My man got me a poinsettia wrapped in red foil with the words ‘Happy Holidays’ printed on it. My husband didn’t even realize it until I pointed it out. In his mind, he thought red flowers equaled Valentine’s Day.”
—Suzanne
6. Flying Disc
“My man made me a CD of songs he liked. Of course, I hated the songs and I gave the disc to my daughter so she could use it as a Frisbee.”
—Anonymous
7. First Class
A boyfriend of three years had been traveling the week of Valentine’s Day but got home on the actual day. When he arrived, he said he had already eaten and didn’t want to go out (no dinner for me!) and hadn’t had time to get me a gift. Funny enough, he decided to show me the new clothes he had bought while he was traveling.
—Lauren
8. The Ab-solute Worst
My boyfriend (now ex) gave me one of those Ab Belts from the infomercials you see on TV. You know, the ones that send shocks to your abs when you’re wearing it, making your muscles contract and giving you a flat tummy? Yeah … no. It burned my skin.
—Jordan
9. Flower Power
“I got some lovely flowers from my well-intentioned husband. He even took the trouble to put them in water for me. Didn’t do much good though, since they were plastic.”
—Keri
10. Super Mario Bother
A video game that we would ‘both enjoy,’ meaning he could play and I could watch or play when I wanted, which, let’s face it, was never because he was always playing it! And he wasn’t good enough to actually beat it!
—Anonymous
Posted in Best of lists
